Happy New Year

The New Year is approaching quickly... and with a New Year there are new hopes, dreams and changes.  That said, I am shutting down my blog.  It has been fun and it has made me happy.. but I need to focus on other things that are in need of my full attention.  
Thank you for reading and I hope at one point or another I could make you smile.
 I wish you all safe, healthy and prosperous new year.  I hope each of you can find your inner strength and determination to live a happy life.

Thank you again,
Jennifer

Wow- It's The Week Of Christmas

Wow- every year it seems Christmas gets here faster and faster... they say that comes with age- Since I have a birthday coming up - I am witnessing life at the speed of light now (which is less than impressive).  The children are home from school and the bickering has began, the ham and turkey are in the fridge waiting to be cooked and devoured.  The menu's are in place.  The baking is at an all time high, and the elastic waist pants are front in center of the closet.  The gifts are wrapped and placed lovingly under the tree. I have shared with others that are not as fortunate as my family this year.  It is time to breath and enjoy the magic and true meaning of the season.  I will not preach on my blog, too each their own- and I will not judge.   I will, however, stroll down memory lane and reflect on Christmas past.

HO HO HO and away we go-

Most of my memories take place at my grandparents house.  I have decided to make a top 10 list- I bet a few of mine match yours...
 1. A Full House- Our family was whole.  We were blessed to have all of our loved ones alive and with us under one roof.  Over time, we have lost members to failing health and age.  I had no idea as a child how I would long to relive special moments.  Had I known, I would have soaked in every single detail that was before me.
2. Fruitcake anyone?  Now I am not a fan of  "fruitcake or cannibalism" - BUT, my grandmother use to make a yummy one with condensed milk (I can and will eat a can of this-ahem -I could careless if anyone is looking)- Condensed milk is kinda like cream cheese...if it is part of the ingredients you KNOW it is gonna be good.  Anyways, this fruitcake was moist and rich- not your typical brick.  Why cannibalism? Hello- a bunch of fruitcakes eating fruitcakes..I thought that one was self explanatory.
3. My Grandmother in her apron- Ok- I have shared in the past that Ellen Roof was a fine cook back in the day and I have also shared how she didn't cook anything "fit to eat" if you asked her.  I can see her in marathon mode- whipping those dishes out, heating those rolls and dictating to her "girls" to get ice in the cups and see who wants "what" to drink.
4. The Blessing and Remembrance of the day- My granddaddy's job and he was good at it.
5. Which brings me to my next memory-  The Feast- oh, it was a feast fit for kings every year.  I was a child so I didn't have to "bring a dish".  That in itself is magical.  Someone brings you a plate- you eat- and enjoy.  ** Side note- somehow my sister got away with this tradition until two years ago- pretty cool magic trick right there- she is thirty-something- sigh**
6. Swapping of Gifts- Toys, Toys, and Socks or possible underwear (that is how I remember it).
7.  Idle Chatter at the table-  is it loud in here?- YES - it is.  After dinner and gift giving everyone would head back to the kitchen for dessert.  This is the time everyone would talk over each other- I know there was a half a dozen conversations going on at any one given time.  Charming - huh and it made my list.  *** another side note- this tradition still carries on loud and proud at any holiday, birthday, day of the week, time of day... doesn't matter***
8. Are there any Pecans left to pick up? - didn't see that one coming did ya?  Well, the Grands had a couple of pecan trees in the yard and we would go out with our Woolco/Kmart bags and start the search.  Hindsight, I now know this was a ploy for the smoking adults to sneak outside and burn one when granddaddy wasn't looking.  mmhmmm-
9. Do you remember?  Time to pull out some of the oldest photo albums that exist outside of a museum.   Pretty sure some of them were brought over during the potato famine- Irish to the core over here.
10. My Granddaddy Could Channel Bing-  This by far, is my favorite memory.  Every year, Granddaddy would sit at the head of the table and belt out " White Christmas".  The chatter stopped and everyone listened. He sounded just like Bing Crosby.  To this day, when it comes on the radio- I can not hold back the tears.  I miss this one - more than any of the others. My granddaddy made an impression on me and I had NO idea at the time.  I think he knows now.

 I hope I could remind you of your memories and made you smile.  I know I have grinned and dropped a few tears today- happy tears.
That said, I wish you all a Safe, Healthy and Very Merry Christmas.
Jennifer

Meet Beth

Did you have a favorite toy?  I did.  Her name was Baby Beth.   She was a little blond, with a pink knit cap and sweater.  She had a material body with tiny flowers on the rump to simulate a diaper.  OH, How I loved my Baby Beth.  She was hands down the best toy ever!  As an adult, I have thought about her from time to time.. like when Mackenzie was a little tot she carried around a particular baby everywhere she went
 (the good old days before she thought Barbies and babies were for BABIES- rolls eyes). Well, one day baby no name was a little too dirty for my liken'... so when Mackenzie sat her down, I tossed her in the washing machine.  Fast Forward 20 minutes and baby no name had no head.  Sheer panic came over me. I know about toy attachment- I experienced the same for Baby Beth. ** As I did the "holy crap" dance in my kitchen - your familiar with it, we have all done this dance- and paced back and forth, I came up with a plan**  At the time, me and the husband were just dating, but I called him asking for assistance in this matter.  He drove from Montevallo, while Mackenzie was a sleep and attached the dolls head.  She had no idea that I had decapitated her baby.  All was right in the world of baby dolls again.  

This past year, for my anniversary present the husband located an Original Baby Beth.  He packed her up in a box inside our luggage as we headed for Vegas - our original knot tying spot- with a letter to the TSA agents to please not "gut" her while looking for drugs that it was a present for his unsuspecting wife.

  (I KNOW- Pretty COOL huh?- he put a lot of thought into that)  I have never been so surprised in my life, except maybe when I found out Walker was a butter bean in the ol' oven- THAT DID SHOCK THE FOOL OUT OF ME! Huh... come to think of it, he is responsible for both surprises, well I be darned.   Anyways, it was a huge, well executed surprise.  

Why is this on my mind?  Well as we all get caught up in the Christmas rush- do you ever stop to think, this toy... pause inserted here... could be the one?  The one that provides security at night and comfort during the day for the special child on your list... IS that the toy the child will remember and automatically smile about as an adult?  As you shop, may you make memories to last your family a lifetime!

Later, My friend

Occupational Hazard

This past week, I was getting dressed to attend a funeral.  One of my oldest friends sent her grandmother home to be with her husband and the angels.  While I was in the bathroom knocking the dust off of some of my old "work clothes", Walker was hanging out with me and running his cars up and down the side of the bathtub.  Normal stuff- less the "work clothes".  I proceeded to put on my face and blow dry my hair.  He continued to play.  I went to the bedroom and came back with a pair of tights... I implemented my yoga moves to get them on and make them somewhat comfortable or as comfortable as a vise can be...then I pulled on my skirt and messed with my hair.  Walker, pulling himself from the line of traffic he had created said with disgust- "YOUR FEET ARE DIRTY"..... I looked down at him and decided to ignore him... (or attempt to ignore him- it is my prerogative as a parental unit to use this "tool")... He continued "Mommy, you gots dirty feet!"... ( thinking to self- WHAT THE HECK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?)  I told him my feet were clean and he said "they are black".  Wham- It hit me... so I hiked up my skirt so he could see my legs and explained to him that I was wearing "tights".  His eyes grew large and he said "that is really, really big socks" 
Yes, Walker- really big socks!

So I am left wondering after this innocent conversation what is more sad... the fact that he thinks I walk around with dirty feet or the fact that he has never seen me dressed up... sigh.... He is almost four so I will go with the latter.  It is an occupational hazard as a stay at home mom :(

Remember This?

Remember in October when I told you about the little freebie for Breast Cancer Awareness from P&G?  Well, that sucker arrived yesterday... every time I pull out this pot- it will be a friendly reminder to take care of myself for my children.  Did you get yours?  I hope so!

My Smut Radar Went Off When I Watched Hee Haw

 Reality TV is pretty much on all channels at one point or another... and I will bashfully admit I am drawn to a couple that fall into the "smut" TV category.   Now "smut" reality is different from the "GREAT" reality shows and there are a few of them out there.. naming one "The Biggest Catch".  That show is fantastic.  I have been following the captains for years now.  It deserves a post of its own....so that said, I will continue on with my "smut" thoughts.
At night, when the kiddos are in bed it is not unheard of to catch me watching The Housewives of so and so (insert whatever city here) or Jerserylicious... (blue eye shadow has indeed made a come back up north and it brought its friend aquanet).  If you want to find out just how dull your life is and be grateful for it... tune into to watch one of these little jewels.  Have Mercy!  Anyways, one night I was watching Sarah Palin whack the plumb fool out of some halibut and a commercial came on for "Bama Belles"- this sent my "smut" radar off. (Note to self- I must watch this show!)
The grand premier was Sunday night... and I feel the need to give you a punch list of the highlights - for it held up to my "smut" expectations...
Here ya go...
1. The pack of gals are located in South Alabama.
2 .All packs have an alpha - it took me all of 10 seconds to figure out who she was- Amie ** I feel the need to insert a little commentary at this point** In my opinion, I am pretty sure she has single handedly destroyed the image of a "southern lady"...  which brings me to number 3 on our list-
3. Cow Sugar-   One of the first scenes is Amie and another pack member Jana... she is showing Jana the fine art of letting a cow (pause inserted here to show disgust) ahem... YES, a cow take a cracker out of your mouth. (MORE commentary here- NOW I have lived in the Great state of Alabama my entire life- I have never nor do I intend on letting a cow take food out of my mouth.  "Cow Sugar" is not normal.  I am sure, as with all animals- if the COW could reach its rear end it would lick it like other animals **just something to think about**  This is not a normal "Belle" activity- just so everyone understands").
4. Spraying a Yankee with Deer Pee- ok, that was a little funny
5. One Pack members boat business is not a float  (sorry for the pun)so she tried for a  promotion in sales for bladder pacemakers... never heard of it, probably needed.  I am really sorry- she did not get the job...(shakes head in confusion)
6. Mother In Law From Hell Comes For a Visit- self explanatory as far as I am concerned.
7. Cowboys and Indians Party for a GROWN man- main course- Jello Shooters
8. Yankee has her eye on a cowboy hottie -  Harlequin Romance had a hand in this scene
9. Biker, Dakata is back from somewhere and she does not like the Yankee girl- (saw that coming)
10. Yankee girl actually thinks all southern or Alabama people live in shacks, she refers to us as "country" (some harsh truth to that after she has been exposed to the "Belles")
Did you watch it?  Did I leave anything out?   I think it is safe to say, that about sums it up- as you can see, this is edge of your seat entertainment.  It is the new HeeHaw.  I will be tuning in again because who doesn't like a little "smut" with their sweet tea and "COW SUGAR".
BYE YA'LL

Any Ideas?

Yes- that is me... saying "HMMMMM"! (some how the new "green bulbs" don't give the same effect)


I have never been one that was big on "surprises"... I know, that is terrible.  Maybe it is because I am a Capricorn - they say this "sign" likes to "posses authority and be in control".  IF you put stock in the stars this could factor into my inability to appreciate anticipation.  The husband knows this... and he loves this time of year to dangle the "clues" and watch me act like a cat chasing a flashlight.  So painful.  Now this is not a new trait I have developed, I have been this way my entire life.  I was the nosy kid looking in the far corners of closets to get a glimpse on the goods.  I have even been known to wait until my mom left for work - go under the tree- unwrap a present.... PUT it on and WEAR IT to school.  Then, come home, take it off- rewrap carefully and place it back to its original spot under the tree before she got home from work.  Classic- me!  One year, I found a bottle of perfume about a month before Christmas and took the bottle out of the original box- spritzed it everyday until school was out for the holidays... and placed it back where I found it.  Freakin' Houdini- no one knew.  Before I had children, no one was able to have surprises ( if I knew about it) because I could not take the fact THEY DIDN'T KNOW.- I would drop hints as subtle as bricks upside the heads to the intended party.  As a result, no one told me anything once they knew I was a blabber mouth- BUT I found things in my scavenger hunts... pitiful.  Now that I have kids, I understand the element of surprise and how much fun it is to "give" surprises... My lips are sealed and I will not give up the secrets..  AS long as it does not involve "me".

Why did I stroll down memory lane with you?  Well, last night the husband called all "giddy" about his purchase for yours truly.   He was ubber excited and soon came the hints.  Here is what I have to work with- and I gotta tell ya- this year I can't pinpoint it.  I need your help!  Ready?

1. It has to come thru customs to get here

2. It is coming from the Europe area ( WTH?)

3. It is larger than a paper towel roll ( I know- why did ask that?- what is wrong with the breadbox analogy?)

4. It comes with a guarantee I will love it.

5. Several people involved

6. Freshwater fish and it is NOT an aquarium..

Seriously- WHAT IS IT?  I know he is all proud of himself... he loves to pull one over on me.  Now keep in mind while you are figuring this out- I am not the only prankster in this family... it is quite possible that some of these hints are obscure enough that they "could" teeter on "false statements".  I have no way of knowing this.  So let's review- here is what we know OR What we think we know..

It is not in the United States, I will like it, it is a modest size, it's fishy and it took a village ( less the idiot- I live here) to send it this way...

OK friends.. I am waiting on your ideas!

Sleep

So the topic today is "sleep".  Let's face it... it is important.  Allow me to share my journey into my restless, vegetated state of mind.
As a teenager- I could sleep.  I had no idea what a luxury I was experiencing every weekend.  NO IDEA.  Time passed and I "grew" up.  As a childless adult, I could sleep.  Again, no idea what a luxury I had.  Fast forward ten years and I am introduced to "motherhood".  Mackenzie was a good sleeper for the most part unless she was sick.  Mackenzie stayed sick the 1st year and 1/2 of her life (see the problem)... so I learned "how to sleep" sitting up in a rocker.  As a single, working parent that lived 100 miles away from the closest relative, I became a "living zombie".  I coped but it wasn't easy.   When Mackenzie turned two, I had tubes put in her ears... and WHAM- a miracle happened- we actually began sleeping the entire night.  What a glorious, majestic occurrence.  This time around I did NOT take it for granted.  I got up with the chickens but I slept the entire nights.  I can give up "sleeping in" for that to happen.  Harmony (the angels sing)!  Time passed and I became pregnant.  For those of you who have never been pregnant I can tell you this- you are tired the first few months and exhausted the last ones... the joke here is you can not sleep because you have morphed into a human blimp... not an overweight blimp that gives when you lay on it... but a rock hard blimp.  No tummy sleeping... I like tummy sleeping.. So months eight and nine...I encountered the very little sleep mode again.
February rolled around in 2007 and Walker arrived.  Walker had colic.  I am not sure how to explain this but it made my time with Mackenzie when we lived in Huntsville seem like a walk in the park, on a lovely sunny day, with the birds chirping and flowers in bloom.  SIGH!  My baby boy did not sleep for more than 30 minutes (DAY OR NIGHT) at a time.  It was a situation, I would not wish on anyone- pause inserted here- not even Obama.   (mmhmmm- it was terrible)  I turned to antidepressants to keep me grounded and from running away.  I watched for a "turning point" but it did not happen.. he turned one- and the sleep pattern was established.  He turned two- and he still got up several times a night.  When he finally turned three he would get up once a night-  MANAGEBLE!  Now my little darling sleeps all night, most nights.  But I can't.  My immediate response is "What in the sam hill is going on" (Thank you Scout, I love this southern phrase)?  What a cruel joke.  I got up and took care of my kids for years...I should have earned the right to be able to sleep an entire night.  Alas, that is not the case.  I have returned to my vegetated state.  I have nothing against vegetables-  I love me some peas and carrots.  However, Vegetables eventually rot... and there is the bad news my friends.  Just sayin'