This morning I strolled out to get the Sunday paper... in my blue robe... a casual walk. I notice I had a "man" down in the scarecrow set up.. but it was raining.. so even though it didn't matter if I got wet... I didn't want the little dude to start looking for me and give him the opportunity to go all willy nilly in the mud. A mental note was made. I got my paper, grabbed my coffee, and snuggled up on the couch for a perfect rainy day beginning. I pulled out my coupons.. browsed the "news"... and began to make my list for the upcoming bargains I would pursue starting Monday.
Time ticked and I happened to look outside and I noticed..ANOTHER PAPER... oh my goodness, what luck! It is COUPON day... oh man... I can't believe it.... I grabbed the blue robe, only this time I skipped to the driveway... grabbed the gifted paper and made my way back into the house... I was ripping off the plastic and sure enough.. another Sunday paper. WOW- JUST WOW! I pulled back the depressing part that some call the news (hmmm seems a little thin) .. and NOTHING... NO ads.. and more importantly - NO COUPONS...
What a proverbial kick in the teeth... and then the paranoia kicked in. What if the newspaper dude is in cahoots with the mailgrump? There is no other explanation. What if they are one in the same? What if the mailgrump moonlights, or in this case sunlights, as a newsgrump? What if the jig is up and the mailgrump has found out about my ongoing investigation?
Someone might as well put coal in my stocking...
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